She's a Motherfucking Princess

Have you heard the new Avril Lavigne single? Holy shit. I don't think i've heard a more infectious piece of candied up pop fluff in a loooooooooooong time-whoever wrote this thing is a genius. It's called "Girfriend" and it's a crazy three minutes of schizo hyper over digitized beauty, wrapped up in a ridiculous putrid sheen of crunchy guitars and sickly sweet vocals. Avril sounds likes she's about 15 in this song which seems about right, since the song is about some obvious high school crush bravado (i.e., Avril hears you've got a crush on here, she wants to be your girlfriend, the girl you've been making time with now is stupid, and yes indeed, Avril is a motherfucking princess-it's all in there.) But the lyrics, ridiculous as they are, especially since Avril is a married woman, aren't the sickest part of the song-it's the drum hook. She's reached right into the Toni Basil bag of tricks and plucked out the only one in there, the simple back and forth schoolyard drum beat that Gwen Stefani recently brought to the fore in "Hollaback Girl" (but to be fair, Avril works a lot more wonder with it.) The only thing i can compare this song to is Kelly Clarkson's defining moment, "Since U Been Gone," but where Kelly was at least feigning integrity and you got the feeling that the song might have meant something to her, Avril makes no such efforts. She knows she's delivering a piece of addictive garbage and she's knows that we're gonna fucking love it (i do!) and makes no apologies. She goes so over the top in this song on every level-by the time you get to the final anthemic chorus and you're hearing a million digitized Avrils telling you how much she wants to get with you you almost belive her. You want to hold Avril tight in the middle of a crowd of goony disdainful high schoolers and tell the world how awesome this relationship is really gonna be-seriously fucking awesome. Could i listen to this song ten times over? Probably not, it's just too insane, but having it thrown at me for three minutes at unhealthy volumes once a day could do me a lot of good.

http://www.myspace.com/avrillavigne

A quick addendum: a short visit to Avril's myspace page has revelaed that she now has a signature Fender guitar. Jesus fucking Christ indeed.